


Ashes

by LunarCycle (CrystalNavy)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-29
Updated: 2019-10-30
Packaged: 2021-01-06 03:00:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21219461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrystalNavy/pseuds/LunarCycle
Summary: Once, she was an idealistic and naive young girl. She had fallen in love with a kind boy, a year older than her. When she was 20, they got married. When she was 22, she gave birth to a baby boy. And that was the moment that her world started changing, and not for the better.





	1. The Abyss (Prologue)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When in prison, one can only remember. One can also write down what they remember. A forgotten character does exactly that.

The wedding had been lovely, complete with the flower garlands and other sorts of things. Many of her friends attended, congratulating her. She had the best husband in the world. He was everything she had dreamed of, kind and compassionate. The fact that he was good looking and had a stable job as an Auror helped as well.

Looking back, she should have known better. She should have known that sometimes, things were too good to be true.

But in that moment, she didn't. She gave birth a year later, to a healthy baby boy. And he grew, grew with her. When he was a year old, his hair began to emerge. It was blonde, almost golden. Like a freshly plucked wheat.

She should have known better. She should have known it wouldn't last.

After all, if you stare into the abyss too long, the abyss would stare back at you.

Her husband became engrossed in his work. He never had time to spare for them. He didn't have time for his family. It was his work which was more important. He chose his work over his family.

Yes, it was him who drove their family to ruin. Even though not all the blame fell onto him, most of it did.

But back then, she was young and carefree.

The world deserved to know the truth.

About the young boy who got lost in the darkness. About a man who pushed his family away.

Yes, the world would know everything.

She resumed writing her memoirs. One day, someone would find them and the truth will be uncovered at last.


	2. Birth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A healthy baby boy is born.

She debated how to start her story.

There was one thing - or rather, a person - that was the centerpiece of the entire story. She decided she might as well start there.

She dipped her quill into the inkwell - those were among the things she brought with her - and began writing. 

To an outside eye, it would appear that he was writing, but she didn't care about that. The deed was done and there was no turning back.

_Summer 1962_

She held him, and he smiled at her. And from that moment on, her life was his. She pressed him against her chest, hugging him fiercely. He looked just like his father for the most part, but he had her own features as well. 

His tiny hands reached out for her. She took his even tinier fingers into her own and smiled back at him.

Her life would be centered around him, she knew. And she was ready to carry that burden.

Her husband and the father of her child peered down at his son.

"He looks healthy." he noted

"He looks just like you." she said, smiling softly "We should name him after you."

"It is as good of a name as any." he agreed

"Then it's decided." she nodded "Welcome to the world, Bartemius. I shall call you Barty."

And the baby in her arms gave her a toothy smile, showing that he agreed with the name.

_-Present-_

He was so innocent back then, and she couldn't help but mourn for him.

She wondered how could they be so blind. How did they not notice that he was drifting away thanks to a negligent father and a complacent mother?

Had they known, they would have done things differently. They would have showered him with love.

They wouldn't have alienated him as they did. Wouldn't have let him fall into the darkness.

If only they could have one more chance.....

But she knew this was impossible. Even the Time-Turner could only send someone back several hours, not years.

This was all that could be done now, and she would see it done until the bitter end.


	3. The Sorting ceremony and a new friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A young boy full of hope, and the first time his fate is chosen.

Saying that he was nervous was an understatement. He was anxious, very anxious, and this feeling grew as the line in front of him thinned out. 

"Carrow, Alecto!" the witch in charge of the ceremony called out

A young, but rather plump girl wobbled up to the stool and the Hat was placed atop of her head. After some deliberation, she was placed in Slytherin. Her twin brother, Amycus, ended up in Slytherin as well.

He listened as the names were called, tuning them out for the most part.

"Crouch, Bartemius!" the witch called

He wiped his hands against the fabric of his robes and stepped forward. The people were staring. Apparently, they too saw his straw-colored hair as something special too. Most of the families didn't have that exact shade of hair. Already he felt as he were less of a person and more of an interesting specimen to be studied.

The Hat was placed atop of his head, obscuring his vision.

"An interesting one for sure." a small voice whispered in his head "You have a keen mind, eager to learn. But you also have ambition. I see that you would make great use of that brain of yours in the future. RAVENCLAW!"

The last word was shouted to the whole hall, and Barty resisted the urge to bury his head into his hands and just disappear. He had never liked being the center of attention. He made his way to his new House's table, and sat down beside a girl with pigtails.

"Bartemius, eh?" she whispered "I am Pandora. Pandora Darby."

"Call me Barty." he smiled weakly at her 

"Barty is a nice name." she nodded

"How so?" he couldn't help but ask

"It's different." she stated simply "There is a throng of boring old names. They are quite overused, if you ask me."

And at that moment, Barty knew he liked this girl. That he wanted to be her friend.

"I heard a rumor." Pandora leaned in conspiratorily "Want to come out to the castle ground with me after lunch? I want to show you something interesting."

"Sure." Barty agreed easily

He knew he could endure the unwanted attention as long as she was his friend. Someone like him was sure to attract bullies, but with two of them, they would be less likely to attack, especially in broad delight.

After lunch, the two of them crept through the entrance hall and out of the castle. Pandora led him to a fenced-off area. Inside were two baby unicorns, and their golden sheen was magnificent.

"Beautiful, aren't they?" she giggled "Come closer, you can touch one."

Barty did, hesitantly. The mane felt extremely soft to the touch.

"Yes, they are wonderful." he agreed 

"They'll be our little secret." Pandora giggled again "We aren't supposed to know about them yet. I only discovered them by chance."

Barty nodded, and they managed to return to the castle before anyone noticed that they were missing. Being almost invisible had its perks.


	4. Something more?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barty learns a suprising piece of information.

Time flew by rather quickly, and Barty was in his third year when his world had turned upside down. He and Pandora had been friends for two years. She sat down beside him with a somber look on her face.

"We've been friends for quite a while, Barty." she began carefully "And I feel comfortable in divulging my secret."

"A secret?" he repeated 

"Yes." she confirmed "I am in love with someone."

Barty's heart sunk as his gaze fell upon a blond-haired boy sitting four seats to his left. He was just the kind of a man Pandora would go for. Crazy in a cool way. And he'd be left alone in the dust, again. Not only was his father too busy to spend time with him, but he was losing a girl he was in love with to someone else too. 

"Who is the lucky man?" he dared to ask

"Someone you know well." Pandora smiled at him

"Right." Barty stood up and walked away

"Barty, wait!" Pandora cried out in desperation 

But Barty didn't. He didn't want to wait for her to break his heart. He wanted to be alone, away from the world that set him up for a disappointment at every turn. Then again, he was just an average student. Pandora was too cool for him. His father was a brilliant ministry worker who didn't have time to waste for the likes of him.

Telling himself these truths over and over again made them hurt less, like a dull ache somewhere deep within his soul.

-x-

Mrs. Crouch stopped writing, and a silent tear fell down her cheek. Barty told her all that happened at Hogwarts, including his unrequited love for Pandora. It was only thanks to mother's intuition that she was able to piece together that his love wasn't as unrequited as he had thought. She should have pushed them closer together. She could have saved her only child if she had. But she didn't. She was satisfied with merely observing, not noticing the signs until it was too late. Would things have gone differently if she was more active in her duties as a parent?

She had no way of knowing.

She resumed writing, writing about the moment it all began to spiral downward.

-x-

Barty sat in the alcove, shielded from the world by the tall trees. He had his head buried in his knees. He heard footsteps approaching, but he didn't raise his head. He didn't move, even when he felt someone sit down beside him.

"Something troubles you." an unfamiliar voice spoke "I happen to know that you suffer the same kind of woe as I once did."

"It did?" Barty finally lifted his head, staring at the man whose face he saw in the newspapers a few days ago

"Oh, yes." the man said "A mother who loves you. A father who neglects you. It was the same for me."

"Who are you?" Barty's curiosity was piqued

"My birth name is Tom Riddle." the man said "But I prefer being called Lord Voldemort. And I am glad I could meet someone who shares my unfortunate experience. I would like for you to join me. We could build a new world. A world where we and those like us wouldn't have to suffer this sort of treatment."

Barty stood up. A fire was burning in his eyes. He found a sense of purpose.

"I will join you." he stated firmly

It didn't matter what his father or anyone else thought about him. He would carve his own destiny as he saw fit.

-x-

Mrs. Crouch hated Lord Voldemort.

He took something precious from her. He took someone her world centered around away from her.

She couldn't do anything in her situation, but she liked to imagine finding Voldemort. She imagined herself clawing his eyes out and taking her only child back.

He was using Barty, she knew it. He lured Barty in with false promises, and he was unable to see through the man.

If she had been more proactive, maybe she would have helped him to see through all the lies. But she didn't.

And she hated herself for it.


End file.
